Disrespectful Children – How to Handle Them
I have had so many calls from parents lately who say they have disrespectful children. If you know my style, you expect me to say, “What’s behind the disrespect?” because if we only see the behavior from the adult point of view, we won’t get anywhere with changing it.
Here’s what I mean:
From the ADULT POINT OF VIEW: “This child is sassy, won’t listen, ignores me, won’t comply, talks back, refuses to do what’s needed, and is a royal pain.”
From the much more useful CHILD POINT OF VIEW: “I am frustrated and I don’t know what to do with my anger. I have to fight everything my parents say to me because it’s the only thing I can do to make sure they see me. I just want them to SEE ME. I yell louder, and they still just give me orders. I ignore them, and they still just say what I do wrong. And they call me disrespectful, say I am lazy, and complain to my relatives, all of which makes me want to fight more. So I fight more, because they don’t see the real me.
I am much smarter than they give me credit for being. They repeat the things they want me to do like I’m a two-year-old and I don’t understand what they want. I totally understand what they want, but when they keep saying it, I feel insulted and annoyed. Can’t they see I’m a good kid, but I am fighting because they are saying things I already know? Don’t they see me?
Who wants to do what people say when all day long, it’s, “Come here. Pick up your things. Do your homework. Get off the computer. Go to bed. Can’t you listen?” I feel like a failure all the time, which never makes me feel like doing what they want.
I wish my parents could figure out how to talk nicer to me. I wish there was someone who could tell them what to say that makes me want to do what they want. It would sure be more peaceful around here. I’m not a bad kid, but I need to be talked to like they see me.”
Luckily there is a person who can help parents see what’s inside, from the child point of view, sort of like a child whisperer. You can learn how to talk to kids in a way that shows respect and gets rid of their disrespect. Call me at 651-453-0123 for a coaching appointment today if you want respectful, peaceful interactions with your child.
Looking forward to hearing from you! Learn more about parent coaching here.
Copyright 2010 Tina Feigal